Girls! Girls, girls girls. I've found the secret.
For many moons, I've watched my single friends struggle with this issue. We, as girls, are always waiting for our Prince Charming to come and sweep us off our feet. He is going to be tall, dark and Hawt as all effin' hell, and he's going to see us in our struggle to find completion in another person and ride in on his white horse and whisk you away. He'll be your soul mate! He'll have always wanted the same kind of house, the same number of children in the same gender birth order (boy, girl, boy) and the same kind of dog as us! Or he'll be a cat person, because "cats make you work harder to gain their affection, and I like working hard to make other living things like me". He will be perfect and love you because you're not! He'll think your flaws are adorable little quirks, put there to make you more interesting and intriguing. Oh, and if you ever call yourself fat, he'd tell you, "no, I like my girls to have some curves! Baby, you're perfect!" and you could take him to all the nude beaches in the world and he'd never ogle the playboy bunnies.
And then reality, or maybe "Online Dating" sinks in. And you realize you'd be lucky to get anyone with any freakin' goals at all to like you, let alone love you.
Which usually happens around the time that you are starting to want to get married and have a family. Because up until that point, you're young and you think that the options are endless and that guys are a dime a dozen and when you're ready, you'll find exactly the right guy for you.
Ah. Wouldn't that be nice?
The reality is that we age, we mature and progress and realize that timing can be everything. The guy who's right for you might be bugged by everything you do. Or married to someone else.
If there were a flow chart option here, you'd recognize that we do one of two things: We settle, or-much more interesting and challenging-we learn to play "the game".
I am here to tell you that, if Marriage and babies are your goal, you can achieve them quite simply. All you have to do is vehemently advocate that you are anti-marriage and anti-babies. Hand to God. Because men are hunters by nature, which means they freakin' love the challenge of a good game. They want to outsmart you and convince you to succumb, even if they never really wanted the same things at all! Just tell them you break out into hives at the very sound of the "wedding marche" and they will start picking out your engagement ring.
Now, you must do this convincingly. For instance, I-already married and divorced-honestly once broke out into a cold sweat when a guy I was seeing wanted me to meet his mother. Why? Because that meant that it must be quasi-serious. In fact, most serious things make me freak right the hell out, and thankfully, I've landed a guy who gets that. The idea of forever absolutely terrifies me!! I've explained it, so I won't keep going there. But you must believe that you don't want to be married. Otherwise, you're being manipulative, and guys can smell that from a mile away.
Maybe you've been trying to "The Secret" your way into happily ever after. Good news! The Universe doesn't understand negatives. So even if you put out there that you Don't want to get married, the Universe is going to cross out the Don't. So you Want to get married. See? Win-win!
By the way, nothing is more off-putting than need. And yes, when you want something so bad it hurts, it becomes a need.
In the end, I don't think game playing is the way to go any more that I think you should get married to get married, or because you feel like he's the only guy who will love you. I truly believe that the pieces will fall into place when the timing is right, and that whomever you're meant to be with? Well, they're coming to you as fast as they can. We all have a list of things to accomplish (whether we know it or not) before we meet our person.
But if you do meet 'em? Feel free to tell them you're never getting married. I swear, this will work.
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