Once upon a time, there was a DJ. She delighted in her job and socializing with the crowds at the places she would host karaoke. In fact, talking to different people about different things made her night feel less like work and more like socializing, and she loved it. There was always the chance that she would learn something new: a new place to hike, a new viral video about to go big on YouTube...
I'm still her. I live for our chats at shows-you all teach me a lot! You broaden my horizon and sometimes, my way of thinking about something. I love talking about music or outdoor activities...skiing absolutely fascinates me! Sticks on your feet and then down a hill!? Tell me more! Where can I learn? Who's the best instructors? Where's the best beginners trails?! How about hiking, or my goal to hike all of Hi-Tor this coming summer. Let's discuss the campgrounds you took your family to-which ones your kids liked best....where I'd need a tent, or where I should splurge on a cabin, because the bears are braver...
Let's talk about dancing. Movies. Places to go to dinner. All of these things matter now-I have free time, and people are starting to ask me to go places with them. This past year, I was introduced to Improv in a big way....that would've never happened if someone in the crowd didn't take the time to talk to me about it. Now, I consider myself an avid fan and go to shows most Saturday nights before my own. It's a great pick me up in the final stretch of my "work week", and I'm a happier person after every Improv show.
Tell me your crazy theories on the universe, or energy, or spirituality. As long as you're not pulling me away from the job and understand that I have to change music and adjust levels, yes! Let's talk!
But please. Stop talking to me about the Bass Player. Stop treating me like I'm hurt or wounded or an emotionally injured person right now. I'm wearing make up and pretty clothes. I've done my hair and put on perfume and jewelry. I'm fine. I'm fine enough to do my job, anyway. When I am not fine is when you want to talk to me about his Jade plant, or what you see him doing, or how you think he's feeling. When I'm not ok is when you tell me how happy we looked and how much he told you he loved me. You weren't there when he looked me in the eyes and said he wasn't sure he ever loved me at all. You cannot possibly know how much it hurts when you tell me about the conversation you had 24 hours prior to him telling me that, when he told you how wonderful of a girl I was and how he hoped I'd keep him forever. I know you might be trying to figure out what happened, and I am, too. I know we looked happy and that there was a great love between us and now it's confusing that it ended. I get it. You're lost about this. I am, too. I can assure you that I'm dealing with it, that I'm sorting it out the best I can. It's almost been a month, now. The shock should be wearing off. I'm trying to move on, and you can help by helping me leave him in my past.
If I wanted to know how he was doing or vise versa, him and I would be talking.
Instead of telling me how sorry you are for me, hug your person closer. Realize the one thing that this has taught me the most: Love the person you're with like they might not be around tomorrow. You never know. Life is strange and scary and love is no exception to that rule. Be kind to each other. Treat each other as if you want to keep each other-we can all walk away; changes of the heart can happen in less than 24 hours.
I'm glad we had this talk. Now, go google a good joke so you can tell me it the next time we see each other :)
I love you all.
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