NSFW...A: Not Safe for, well...anything!

People, We have a problem. Yes, We. You see, I was talking to my most recent ex-boyfriend the other day, and in his dating adventures, he has encountered something...well, uncouth. It was shocking! Dismaying! It changed his perspective on things!

My friends, it was a vagina.

A vagine, a lady garden, a pink taco, the bearded clam...right there on his phone!

The most shocking thing about this? The person (or thing) that the vagine was attached to? They had only been TEXTING for TWO HOURS! He asked to see a pic of her, thinking he'd get her face...you know, since he sent one of his face to her right before he asked. Nope. He got to see the land down under. Apparently, she felt better about her squish mitten than she did about her face. Or she was raised by wolves. Those are the only two conclusions I can come up with!

When he told me this story, I was shocked and not all that dismayed. Ever since we put a camera into our phones, this stuff has been happening more and more frequently. It's kinda sad what it says about human nature, actually. Of course, I didn't say any of this to him. Nope. I laughed my ass off! Hey, this guy is the most anti-sleazeball guy I know. It's funny that he would get that response!

It was funny, I should say. Until I opened my phone this morning to check my messages and lo and behold, what was waiting for me?!!?!

Remember Abercrombie? Otherwise known as "the dude mentioned in my 'I Be Strokin' Post"? Yeah, after I told him I wasn't interested, he sent me an email all but begging me to reconsider. I ignored it... I'm pretty good at this point in my life with ignoring what I want to :) Anyways, I have a picture message from him. I'm thinking it's going to be some kind of meme or something motivational since he's a life coach, right?

Nope. It's Little Abercrombie. Or, well, averaged sized Abercrombie, I should say. It's hard to tell the dimensions since there was no common object placed in the photo for scale.

Ok, what on EARTH would posses a grown ass man to send a picture of his pork steeple to a girl who was blatantly brushing him off? Was it a last ditch effort to change my mind? It did-while I thought he was pretty cool, this changed that!

And more importantly, what's a gal to do with a picture of a random nether rod?!?!?!

Narrator: What will Cydney do with the naughty picture? Will she post it on his professional website as a comment? Will she photo bomb her friends inboxes at random times? Will she comment back to the tool who sent her his battle axe? Or Will she turn it into random Holiday Cards?


Friends, I think we've found a winner :)


(On a totally unrelated note, can I tell you how happy I was when I was google imaging the words "not safe for work" and an image of Ted Danson was in the displayed results?! Googles, you so funny!)