Peace!

It seems like I'm supposed to learn to stop being upset. This past month has been so interesting to me. There's been all of these situations that I've felt so helpless about and it seems like my go-to method of coping is to get upset. Anxious. To try to think through or analyze the situation until I can wrap my head around what's happening.

Instead, the message I'm getting lately is this: some things are not meant for you to understand. Some concepts are too big to grasp at the moment they're being presented. If you know this, you can find peace in it.

Lately I've been recognizing these patterns with relationships in my life. I'll feel like I'm being wronged at the exact moment I realize how I'm wronging someone else. It's a strange type of awareness. In 2/3 of the situations, my actions were not necessarily the cause of the affect (if that makes sense). Obviously, when your actions are the cause you can address them. Make amends if possible. If not it can kind of feel like you're kind of the un-innocent bystander. None of my actions would have changed either of the outcomes. In one situation, I was hurt. In the other, I  benefit greatly. Same mirrored situation-nothing I can do to change either case. How interesting is that, that a full circle moment comes around within a time period where it's impossible to ignore?!

So, I'm listening. My heart is open, my mind is attentive. I've known for quite some time that "What's meant to be will be"... it's a different type of awareness when you understand that the plan is not always your own and adopt a mindset of peaceful acceptance.