AIR IS NOT A LIQUID!!!!!!

           I am not gloating.

           Ok, I might be gloating a little bit.

          But if I am, it’s only because I encounter this one scenario quite frequently: People around me assume that because I’m a DJ of the karaoke variety with no college education to speak of, I do not know “smart people” things. And you know what? Sometimes, they’re damn right. I figure I’m way too busy trying to pay my bills, keep a puppy, plant and seven year old alive that I just don’t have the time (a lot of the time) to try and conquer the bigger questions in the universe. Conversely I don’t over think “smart people” things either. That’s why we have google and Wikipedia. Just sayin’.

            In any event, one thing has presented itself from both my sister and my boyfriend, at different times, over the past three weeks and it has blown my mind. Both of these educated, intelligent and super awesome people have made a claim that makes abso-effin-lutely no sense:

AIR IS A LIQUID.

            Right? Unless I have secret gills, my un-educated brain knows this cannot be true. Which leads us to establishing that this is what we call a “smart people” problem. Damn smart people have actually thunk themselves into believing something that simple minded people know cannot be true. If air is a liquid, I’m not walking-I’m swimming. And water and air would have no definitive separation point. AND I’D NEED GILLS TO BREATHE. Just wanna get that one out there.

            Sure it can be reasoned that air has some liquid in it. That I can wrap my brain around. And a large part of me wants to believe these two super intelligent awesome people, so I’ve let the sleeping dog lie for a little bit. That is until today, when I was bored on the interwebs and actually googled it. And you know what? It turns out I’m not half wrong on this one. I’m like, three quarters of the way right, actually. So here it is, my smart loves. Because as much as I don’t mind sounding like an idiot, I get sad when the smarter people in my life make statements that make me feel dumb, then make me believe them (because I love them and want to think they’re right and super awesomely smart) and then make me realize they were only kinda right.  See where I feel misled here?

            But I digress. Get ready, this karaoke DJ is gonna drop some serious effin’ knowledge on yo’ asses right herrrrrr.

            There are seven states of matter: Solid, Liquid and Gas (there's your three freebies that like, everyone knows); If you're having a smart day, you'll recognize that Plasma is also a type of matter. And unless you've gone through some kind of college course or higher physics, the last three will mean nothing-but here they are anyway: Bose-Einstein condensates, fermionic condensates and something called quark-gluon plasma.

             At any rate, lets focus on the three that we know- Solid, Liquid, and Gas. We can all agree that air is not solid, right? So, now we have liquid and gas.

             Air is most definitely a gas. One of my smart people said that since air is a gas and gasses are liquids, air must be a liquid.

             To put it simply, both liquids and gasses are fluids. In Physics, fluids are substances that will change form when stress is applied. Some smart ass people have figured this crap out and put mathematical equations to it, and I'm sure if you want to know more about that you'll have to pay someone to teach you it. I think the rest of the misunderstanding is based in our understanding of the English language, since most people have transcribed the word "Fluid" to mean liquid-like when you're doctor says to increase your fluid intake. That means you should drink water. While your doctor would probably also like you to breathe, (s)he is not advocating that you breathe more or more deeply when making that recommendation.

             So, to review. Air is a Gas, which can also be called a fluid, but it is NOT a liquid.

             Congrats. You've just been DJ'ed. Which is kinda like being lawyered, only with more usage of internets and louder music playing, and a hell of a lot less student loan money owed. :)