Many of you might remember how in the beginning of my post The Spider Apocolypse Theorem, briefly mention how some people are actually concerned over the threat (they use the word "Impending" before "threat") of a Zombie Apocalypse. Because it just seems scary and strange to me, and my natural response is to immediately deem it "impossible" and sweep it out of my mind with my mental-comfort-broom right into the that's-better-dust-pan, which I immediately empty into the that-shit's-crazy-talk-trash-can. Either way, I believe that we are here to learn, and so when I expand the horizons of my vastly useless knowledge, I'd like to think I'm capable of admitting I might've been..well, wrong isn't the right word for it... maybe... close minded?
It all started with some crazy mo-fo in Florida who did this: Got high on bath salts (what the eff?) and ate another dudes face. (Bath Salts, by the way, are only meant to be soaked in for twenty minutes. It says so on the package, which I had to read, since I got some as a gift and didn't have a girlie mother who would've taught me these things growing up. Is it fair to infer that if I soak for, say, an hour, I will become high as a kite and start chewing on my local vagabond? Because that adds a whole new level to "Mommy time"...) But I digress. Anyways, dude was high off of something. And by something, it had to be pretty damn good, since he stripped down and went all Hannibal Lecter on a homeless guy's face. (Just sayin...shouldn't we start with like,a toe? Just to see if we like it? A face is just so personal...)
Ok, obviously, the police shoot the eater dead. The eatee? Maybe he'll live, maybe not. Personally, if I had my face chewed off and then my name sprayed all over the news media, I'd be a shoo-in on the DNR thingie. But then comes the autopsy, because we *must* find out what made a human being eat another human beings face! And here's where it gets really effing batty.
Apparently, there's an actual disease that would cause Zombie-like behavior.
A friend of mine who is much more hip posted an article on his FB page (Finger on the pulse, Scotty!) and I had to run to the Googles to see if it was real. I still have no idea, but I'll tell you what I've found ;)
Supposedly, our face eating friend has tested positive for LQP-79 Virus. Which I thought was something totally made up-and I still think it is. Largely because in today's age, for an image so widely circulated there would be some credible news source all but watermarking their name all over this crap, and you cannot find the source for this article anywhere. Theoretically, though, I'm seeing the other side to the zombie argument.
If some disease was either naturally mutated or was bio-chemically engineered to mess with the human brain, we would definitely eat each other. The brain is a wonderful and spectacular creation...but as anyone who has watched a loved one slowly sink into the abyss of Alzheimer's or any other brain degenerating illness will tell you-it don't take much. A few brain waves misfire and we're all sunk. If there was a virus concocted to do just that, well...zombie-ish behaviors could definitely exist. In today's day in age with warfare being what it is and science being so advanced, I rarely put anything past people (and by "people" I mean "our government" and "other governments".)
However, if that were true, I highly doubt the first target would be Miami.
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