First Response

Last night, I listened to my neighbor scream at and abuse the mother of his child. It was five minutes of me going from thinking I heard something to be able to hear word for word what was being said and understanding that the loud thump sound was her body hitting the wall. Instinctively, I changed from my pajamas into regular clothes and grabbed my cell phone and headed for the door. I got outside just in time to see him marching to his car. I just wanted to make sure he left, so I watched him squeal his tires. That's right, buddy. Go cool down, is what I wanted to think. It would be the rational, I've-never-been-through-this feeling... Instead I stood there, clenched fists, wanting to sock him in the back of his head and throw him around.

 I know I should have called the police, but it was over when he left. I was afraid it would make it worse for her. List reasons. I'm sure most of them would be correct to a certain extent. I'm writing this now wondering why the hell I didn't. Also, though, I know it wouldn't have changed anything. It just makes life harder.

Everyone says that desensitization is the what happens when you've been around something bad long enough. Maybe that's it. Obviously, I'm not going to inflict my own form of justice. That's just stupid. So basically, what we have here is inaction. I've done nothing to help this situation that I've just witnessed, and by passively sitting here, I've allowed it to happen again.

If I believed I was in charge of everyone's actions or that I actually had that big of an impact on their decision making skills, I'd totally think I'm a horrible person.

What I did do was knock on her door. I didn't know if she would answer but she did, holding her baby and sobbing. I asked if she was ok; told her not to worry about it when she apologized for the noise, and told her that if she needed anything, anything at all, to never ever hesitate to reach out. I told her that it's not a judgement thing-that I 'get' it, and she's more than welcome any time, day or night. That I was concerned for her and her kids. And that the things he said weren't true, even if I don't know you at all.

I'm crying writing this. Next time, I'll call 9-1-1, no hesitations. I talked to the maintenance man for the property and gave him a heads up in case of other noise complaints (the people here love to complain about noise). I'm baking muffins, and as soon as that slime of a man leaves, I'll take them over to her.

No matter how small I am, no matter what I can or cannot change. No matter where I've been or what I've done or what has happened to me... I can reach out to someone and let them know that they are not alone. We are all in this thing called life together, and I am-in every way, shape and form-very much right here.