74 pt 2

Well, this will be hard to write.

Suffice to say, the house/trailer/mobile home is not mine. And not really because they turned me down, which is the funny part. After getting the run around for almost three weeks (The "We'll call by end of business with a finite answer"s that never came; the request for the submission of more paper work), I've decided to walk away from it.

On the plus side, I wasn't turned down. I've come to this decision on my own based on my life experiences, intuition and knowledge.

I'm walking away because I'm tired of fighting. Yes, it would be an amazing step for my son and I. Yes, it was the perfect location and size for my family. No, I've never been one to step away from a challenge when I've wanted it this badly. However, everything that's come into my life and been good for me thus far has not required so much effort.

Let me explain: My son? Complete and utter surprise. My job as a DJ? Fluke. And let's not forget about my relationship (that I'm thrilled to be in) with the extraordinary Bass Player. That most certainly wasn't a planned event, either. All of these things benefit/ed me greatly and feel meant to be. Sure, they've come with their fair share of trials and tribulations, but at the end of the day, the troubles were/are never anything that challenges my beliefs in myself on a basic level.

The things that came with a fight that most certainly blew up in my face: well...every major relationship to this point, including my failed marriage. My car with the incredibly high payment. The apartment I'm in now, which I certainly cannot afford alone. And a myriad of other things that I'm just not ready to admit to in a public forum yet. Suffice to say, a lot. I fight for almost everything I get. It's always a pleasant surprise when it works out in my favor! :P

So, let the other couple have it. Obviously, it's not meant to be right now. No hard feelings, because there's something amazing around the corner-this just had to happen for me to get there. :) And yes, I will totally let you all know the *moment* I figure out what it is!