My son M has wanted to go into the Air Force for as long as I can remember. When most of his peers were ogling firefighters or astronauts, he was drawing designs for the next new jet fighter, capable of space alien technology worthy feats. We have never been allowed to walk by any recruitment table or office without stopping in to visit our friends in fatigues and discuss how we were going to get into the AF; in fact, he has the swag to prove it-a water bottle, hat, lanyard, key chain, posters....
In one of our last visits to the recruitment center in a nearby city (it was our trade-off: he'd let me take him to the Indian restaurant if I let him visit the recruitment center next door) the recruitment officer spoke to my eleven year old about the importance of grades and staying out of "trouble." Before we left, he had coached my son to "stay away from drugs, alcohol, and women." And it resonated so strongly that M will gladly tell anyone who asks about school crushes that he is saving himself from dating until he's "at LEAST sixteen."
Last night he returned to my home from his fathers and, while we were doing our catch up snuggle session on the couch, confided that he was having second thoughts about joining the military. "Think about it," he said, softly. "You spend all that time becoming a person and a human, eighteen years at least, and then it could all be snuffed out in a second. Then, what have you lived for? What was the purpose of all of that work and all of those lessons?"
I feel like this is a good time to point out that I have never been a fan of his military related plans. He's my only child, my heart literally beats in his chest. I come from a long line of worriers and have never experienced a father or brother being in the military. The inherent risk of death by serving in the armed forces makes my blood freeze when I think about it.
I have also been gifted with a sensitive, intuitive little boy. From time to time, he entertains becoming a vegetarian so that animals don't have to die to feed him. Death impacts him so profoundly that he often speaks of his great grandfathers-both of whom were lost within two years of each other-with tears in his eyes, and asks to visit their graves. I couldn't fathom the thought of him with another human being in the crosshairs of his weapon, and my son pulling the trigger. If he did, I don't want to imagine what the emotional repercussions would be.
Knowing both of these facts and realizing that parenting is selfless, my stance has always been to be supportive. If he goes into a branch of military service, then I will be the best military mother I can be. I will encourage and support, listen to and hold him whenever I can, even if I personally hate war and violence and detest it's affects on our soldiers. I still pray every night that he'll have a change of heart somewhere in the next seven years, though.
So listening to him speak last night was wonderful! A relief! I was overjoyed (on the inside. I didn't let it show, I swear!)
"Why go to war and then die, and for what?" M asked.
"It's what you believe is worthy of sacrificing your life," I explained. "If you feel strongly about America and our country, about advancing our standing in the world from a military perspective, and you feel it so strongly that you're willing to die for this belief, then your life won't be wasted by your death," careful steps, Mama. Care.Ful. Steps.
"There are people who are in danger every day because they feel that what they are doing is worth the risk. Basically, assume that if you are serving people, you're in danger. Firefighters, police officers, doctors and nurses are a few examples. A firefighter will risk their life for another because they believe that life deserves to be protected. Police put their lives on the line every time they respond to a call of a break in, or a robbery in progress. Nurses who worked during times when there were outbreaks of diseases we didn't understand put themselves at risk by helping others because the sickness needed to be contained, and without them, the sick could infect numerous others. Doctors study these diseases often times before realizing what their own risk of exposure is. All of these people are willing to sacrifice because they believe their life would be well spent, even if it means their own death."
"Soldiers are so young, though..." M argued.
"Yep. Many are. And there's many reasons to fight. You fight because your homeland is under attack. You fight because you are being oppressed. You fight because you see genocide and war crimes being committed against those who cannot defend themselves. All of these are good reasons to become a soldier,"
"But I just want to design airplanes..."
"...and that's a great reason to become an engineer." We then spent the next hour discussing career paths and what it would take to get him to a place where he could design planes, and even contract for the government.
Parenting is fun. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment